Rules of the Road

Our past couple of weeks have been quiet and per usual here (whatever that now means). We enjoyed seeing Bob Dylan in concert last Sunday (yeah, that actually happened) and have been busy making new friends and remembering new faces. Ginger had an exciting trip to the (one and only recommended) vet who had to remove (another) tooth. However, he threw in a teeth cleaning at the same time since she was going to be under anyway for a bargain $150-for everything. Hopefully she will keep the rest of her teeth from now on…the dog tooth fairy does not have any more money! We also actually took the new camera out for a spin around the city to capture some typical life here before it starts to become “normal” to us. So, instead of droning on about our mundane weeks, I will share a bit more about the country. Enjoy the new pics!

Rules of the Road

Vietnam is one country I would recommend doing some serious soul searching before deciding to get behind of the wheel of a motorized vehicle-or at least spend some quality observation and research on the Vietnamese “rules” of the road (please). Here are some to start:

1. You may stop your vehicle anywhere you wish, whether it be to light another cigarette, partake in the morning comings & goings, look for your destination address or just because. This may be in the middle of traffic, on the corner of a blind turn (non-motorized bicycles may stop here as well), or on the highway.
2. If you don’t agree with the speed the vehicle in front of you is going, feel free to pass them, wherever you are and whatever the consequences may be. (Practice playing chicken in a safer place before practicing here, the Vietnamese truck and bus drivers are very adept at this skill) There are no “non” passing zones, just be careful if there are physical barriers in the median.
3. There are no stop signs, anywhere. So, no worries about getting a ticket for not making a complete stop.
4. Slower vehicles yield (usually). When driving through a 4-way intersection (see rule #3), make sure you are the fastest, then you don’t have to yield.
5. No looking for oncoming traffic necessary when merging into traffic. Just hit the throttle (and the horn at the same time) and be on your way.
6. Traffic lights are only a suggestion. If there is no oncoming traffic within a few feet of your vehicle, feel free to continue through.
7. Turning signals on the vehicle are for decoration only.
8. Getting flashed by one’s brights does not mean you forgot to turn your head lights on. It means “WAKE UP. YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE!”
9. The only thing you need to pay attention to is what is in the front of your vision. Things to the periphery cannot be bothered with.
10. Don’t worry about the pedestrians, they will move out of your way if need be.
11. When driving down main streets, blare your horn so that vehicles “merging” from side streets will be aware that there is at least one other vehicle on the road to share with.
12. Remember that the police here have a ticket quota too…
13. Bigger trumps smaller. So, although there may be designated “motor bike lanes” if you are bigger than them, you can drive in their lane if you want to (although see #12 if its quota time and carry extra “coffee money”). Likewise, if you wish to bypass some road traffic, take the sidewalk (see #10 in case of pesky pedestrians in the way).
14. The dotted lines all over the road are only a suggestion.
15. If you are a truck driver, your incentive is not to hit any motorbikes. But if you do, better to kill them because then all you have to pay is $500 for funeral fees, however, if they need serious medial attention you are responsible for paying all the hospital fees (which can be very expensive…).
16. Avoid driving if you don’t have to (see all of the above).

Although driving here seems completely insane, they do have a set of “rules” that make no sense to us, but seems to work for them. Strangely they are very predictable in the ridiculousness on the road. Sometimes I feel like I am overreacting to the driving here, but then I read or hear from another Westerner about their road frustrations, and I feel okay again. Every morning, I sit down with a cup of coffee and have my first laugh of the day over a comment on the daily local (expat) google groups page. Here is a comment from earlier this week:

Addressed to: Classy foreign driver in blue BMW

Dear above mentioned person,

Thank you so much for such a wonderful display of selfish driving this morning as you headed toward the Phu My Hung bridge. 
The way you overtook a line of lorries stuck in a traffic jam head on into an oncoming HGV truck was truly remarkable. The way the HGV then decided to panic and swerve into the motorbike lane in which I was traveling, forcing me into loose gravel and stones at 50kph was a much needed test of my riding skills and sphincter muscles. 
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, you decided that the HGV presented too much of an easy target for you to hit and so you made the brave choice of swerving and aiming at me, forcing me to brake to a complete stand-still.

Thanh Tay Ngu. A wave of apology would have been nice. Instead, you shrugged your shoulders as if you were completely in the right. Of course, I am a lowly motorcycle rider (on a green Vespa but I'm sure you
remember that) and you are a King of the road in a car (a BMW no less) and it was rather presumptuous of me to use a lane for motorcycles. I must accept my responsibility in this matter.

Your humble servant,

Scott

I could not have said it better. (Luckily we have a courteous driver, so I never worry about this). However, you can see why “rules” and “laws” are wonderful things, no matter how much we complain about them…

Here is a short video of us crossing the street! Notice the "cross walk" in the distance. Like most lines on the road, they mean nothing, but every once in a while you can still catch a tourist trying to use them ;)