En Zed
Or to those of us who speak
regular English, that would be New Zealand, land of The Lord of the Rings, Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe, and The Hobbit. But...also some of the most diverse landscapes in the world due to its
crazy volcanic remains, glacial gluttony and mash of tectonic plates (those are the technical
descriptions, right Lauren?) This
also happens to be part of the backwards side of the world where they drive on
the wrong side of the road. Which means that nobody ever knows when we are
turning because Clayton turns on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signal.
In his words, "WHY wouldn't all
steering columns be the same?!" (But said in an exasperated high pitched wail
after tricking a car behind that we were turning when in fact he just needed to
wipe the windshield).
They do speak funny here
though-"z" is pronounced "zee" to normal people. To them, it's
"zed". So, they would actually
say "Zed Zed Top."
What? A common term I find particularly entertaining is the word
"jumper" as in "it was so cold I had to wear my jumper".
You had to wear what?! They make those in adult sizes too?? I didn't realize
that cute little onesies were appropriate adult wear. But what they refer to as
a "jumper" is what we call a "sweatshirt"...I think (and
hope). I still could never refer to my sweatshirt as a "jumper"
without cracking up.
Here is a riddle for you...what would
be your first reaction if someone says to you, "How are you going"
(which actually sounds like "Haw'yr goin'")? My first time went
something like, "uh, stammer, stammer, going, stammer... (And this is
where I replay what they just said and think-are they asking where I'm going or how I'm going...where? Do I
say what kind of vehicle I'm going in or where I'm going next? Or in this
specific case-which was at a restaurant-were they asking what I was going to
eat?) Now I'm an experienced En Zed traveler (though they also use this phrase in
Australia) and after many an awkward reply, now stick to a standard answer of
"good!" Then I equally stump them by adding on a: (good) thanks! And
how are you? I wonder if they also
think, 'is that the end of the question? Is she adding something else onto the
end...how are you...what? Going, doing...etc, because their answers
are usually a mix of confusion and stammers as well. Makes everything equal again!
We booked our tickets to En Zed in
July and I (being the obsessive travel coordinator and controller) confirmed all
our travel reservations by August in fear that the busiest season here would
quickly book up for January (their "summer"). I expected plenty of summer traffic,
busy towns and crowded streets. But-did you know that the population of New
Zealand-both islands (!!) is ONLY 4.4 million? That's half the population size of New York City itself. So the only crowded areas were the
sheep populated grassy hillsides of the central interior. In fact the population of sheep is somewhere around 60 million...a ratio of 15:1..wow. It was not crazy summer
tourist busy-by my standards-which was wonderful!
So here is a little run down of our adventures. We flew into Christchurch, then drove around the perimeter of the south island ending again in Christchurch. Unfortunately we didn't see any of the north island-but we had to leave something for a future trip!
Day 1-3 was Clayton's "mancation".
He spent 2 full days catching slimy fish, stomping up and down rivers, and
whipping a fly rod around (without any accidental human hookings). I treated myself to lots of naps, some
good reading, running through the mountains (they kicked my ass) and a few bottles
of wine...by myself (it was amazing).
Day 4 we drove to the southwest side
of the island, a scenic 600 km trek-which by US standards is a normal days drive.
Here, it's only a drive crazy Americans would do (it makes up about a quarter
of the South Island). I'm pretty
sure we saw more sheep that day than we have ever seen put together in our
years of existence. Today was also
the first day we filled the gas tank.
After doing the liters to gallon conversion came out to...drum roll...$8
USD per gallon. Wha?? That combined with a 6 pack of microbrews costing an
average of $15-17 USD was enough to make me think...God Bless America! Say what
you will but the average salary in NZ is no bigger (if not less) than an
average American salary. Islands
are expensive!!
Day 5 and 6 were spent in the Fiordland
national park (think Lord of the rings...but real life!!) Unfortunately En Zed didn't account for
our presence as vacationers and rained 2/3 days that we were there. However,
luck was upon us one day and we were able to take our much anticipated helicopter flight
through Doubtful Sound. When I wasn't afraid I was going to pee my pants it was
pretty damn AMAZING. Definitely the highlight of the trip. The helicopter dropped
us at the top of Mt. Luxmore-a popular overnight destination for backpackers,
holding 60 bunks. We passed many a "tramper" hauling their packs up
14 km to the lodge while we lazily "tramped" on down. I didn't expect it to rain so much
though (which was why I didn't even bring my raincoat). Hello NZ?? We are on
VACATION. The country did redeem
itself with enough microbrews and wine to keep me happily occupied while we waited things out. We had to cancel our kayaking plans the
second day due to heavy rains, closed roads and flooding, but it turns out that
wine and beer tastes the same whether you are stuck inside playing cards or
sitting alfresco on a nice summers day.
Day 7 and 8 started a little iffy
when we found out that the only road north was closed due to...all the unusual
summer rain. A bridge had been washed out, so our choices were to take a 9 hour
detour or change our plans for the next few days. I would say that on a scale
of 1-10 of my abilities to "go with the flow," I'm a -2. I suck at
it. When we heard that we needed to change our trip because of the road closure
I probably reacted the same as if I had heard that the sky is
falling. So we cancelled all our
bookings and tours, re-booked at another inland location and headed north in
hopes that the road might just happen to open by the time we dawdled there.
Just as we had given up and were making the final decision to head on our
detour...the road miraculously opened...at 4 pm, closing at 9 pm. So we cancelled
our re-booking, re-booked our original bookings and sped off towards the Fox
and a Franz Joseph glaciers. Apart from the general appeal of snow topped
mountains and glaciers, these 2 are special in that they are 2 of only 3
glaciers in the world that butt up against a rainforest running to the sea (the
only other one is located in Argentina).
Although they are only 2 of some 3000 or so glaciers in En Zed, their
location and speed makes them big hits on the tourist track. If there was a
glacial race, these would be the winners, traveling 6-7mm in a day! Whoa-right?
This also meant nothing to me except that they are therefore way more dangerous
compared to other glaciers which are dangerous in their own right. To me then
it seems that this may not be the best area to try out ice climbing for the
first time. So because I'm such a pansy the closest we got to the glacier was
the area roped off by the national parks to corral all the other tourists and keep
them from doing something stupid like falling down a crevasse or getting impailed
by falling ice chunks or rocks. (Which has happened.)
Day 9-12 started with a picturesque
drive north along the west coast. We ended in the Abel Tasman area where we planned
on spending 4 days kayaking, hiking and biking our way around the region. The
weather had other plans for us... For an area of NZ that gets the most sun of
any other, not to mention the fact that it was the middle of summer and the
region was in a drought...to get hit with 3/4 of our days with RAIN was a
blessing only to the farmers in the area... Day 1 in the area: kayak trip cancelled
due to rain. In lieu of that we walked around the valley laden, grape vine
strewn, olive, cherry and apple tree orchard melting pot of land with a goal of
hitting up 3 wineries on foot. We arrived at the first one and plunked ourselves
down in the garden for a bottle and a cheese plate. Our timing and my sense of
distance was a bit off to meet our goal, so although we walked the entire 15 or
so km of country roads, didn't make it to either of the other 2 wineries in
time. We did have a good wine buzzed walk back with many a baaa, mooo and snort
from animals along the way. Day 2: tried our luck at kayaking again...no
cancellations except for a cloudy forecast and more rain starting in the
afternoon. We set out, covered the recommended distance in about 1/4 of the time
intended, saw families of seals flapping around along the shore, gawked at a
few stingrays and jellyfish following alongside our boat and managed to avoid
capsizing for the entire 20+km of the way and arrived back just in time for the
rain to start. So, instead of a bike ride we opted to drive into town for
dinner and to see The Hobbit (we were in NZ anyway-would be a shame to miss it
on a big screen!) Day 3: woke up to rain...rain all day...bike plans cancelled
again...so spent the day winery hopping via motorized vehicle instead. It was probably good because Clayton would have been really tired carrying all 9 of the wine bottles we bought that day had we been on bicycle. :)
Day 13-15...raise of hands for those
who have ridden a bicycle loopy? How about wine loopy? It's super fun, right?!
Until you get 50 meters past your last stop of the day (6 in total...) and
realize that you are not Lance Armstrong and that was not the 7 km left to go
(though it seemed like suuuuuch a ways even at that point.) Then...you realize
that you have had to pee since about 2 wineries ago, but conveniently forget as
soon as you leave-your excitement of the next destination taken over for the
warnings from your bladder. At
that point the breezes turn into gale force winds (or at least that is what you
tell yourself as to WHY your legs only seem to pedal at snail pace) and panic
sets in that by the time you get back home (still another 6.5 km to go) you may
very well have ridden off your wine buzz!! Whose idea was it to ride bikes
around to all the wineries anyway?! Oh, right...that was me...
End of the journey...full
perimeter of NZ South Island...check...day 16-18 in Christchurch. Due to the
massive earthquake in Feb of 2010, followed by the many aftershocks, a large
part of the central business district was abandoned, crumbling and shut down.
Signs of the earthquake are still everywhere-old brick buildings secured with
what looks like monstrous zip ties, demolished piles of wood and brick, fences
EVERYWHERE. To quote Clayton "it looks like the set of one of those post apocalypse
zombie movies"-stores abandoned, but still mannequins, shelves and posters
littering the buildings. . It's definitely a good time to be in the fence business...
First day there I took advantage of some fresh air park trails, then we headed
into town to a local fair trade coffee shop in route to the
"temporary" CBD shopping area of shipping container turned shops and
restaurants. It was initially a way for the shops to get up and running again,
though turned into a more permanent funky architectural mall. After that it was
a soccer game, lots more cappuccinos and a few more glasses of wine and micro
brews to round off the trip.
Christchurch did give us a little flavor
of its quakiness...while we were sitting in the theater, the largest aftershock
since last July of 2012 hit (4.6 was officially recorded). It came right at a
fairly climatic part...and I thought for a second...wow! This 3-D is
AMAZING...then I immediately registered...this is not a ride. Had anyone else
around me started panicking-I may have too. But just seemed like another day to
them I suppose... I do like being on solid ground better.
New Zealand...you did not disappoint!
(Expect maybe the unseasonable
rain). Until the next time!!
Our pictures are in the first slideshow on the left. Apologies in advance...we got a new camera...
