Or should I say wedding balloons are popping? What? You didn't think I was talking about our wedding, did you?? This past weekend we went to our first Vietnamese wedding! I know that sounds really exciting, but it wasn’t, seriously. We were invited by the bride, who is a co-worker of Clayton’s, and because this was our first wedding in Vietnam and we didn’t want to completely embarrass ourselves, we made sure to ask some friends the necessary questions. (What is an appropriate gift, what should we NOT to do to call ourselves out even more than our huge white faces already do-that kind of thing.) Let’s just say that it was not our biggest success.
First, let me fill you in on a few details about tradition here. Keep in mind that although I have done a little light reading on the subject, I probably still have no idea what I am talking about. Anyway, our first wedding conundrum was seeing the “pre” wedding pictures. On the weekends, couples are littered about over a few “picturesque” places in the city (Notre Dam Cathedral and a park in D7 are the most popular) in full wedding garb with generally about 4 other costume changes and posing every which way possible (and when I say every which way, keep in mind, they are Asian and LOVE to take glamour shots). These pictures are done weeks before the actual event and then blown up on posters and put in a slide show so the room is jammed with cute, cuddly, sexy, and aloof pictures of the bride and groom. Apparently, the more dresses the bride has, the more affluent she is, so the higher the number the better (though I also read that the dresses are rented). The pictures are usually comprised of at least one fluffy white wedding dress, western style; 1-3 colorful, bejeweled, taffetaed ball gowns; one traditional Vietnamese garb; and one matching t-shirt photo op (the cheesier the better-cartoons, phrases, etc). For this wedding, we counted 3 white wedding dresses, a blue ball gown, a red ball gown, a traditional dress and matching red t-shirts with cartoon characters saying something about love. This also goes for the actual reception itself, though with fewer changes (and yes, she changes mid-reception).
What I didn’t know was that the “wedding” that we were invited to (and the invite actually said “wedding”) was really only the reception. Generally the couples do the official ceremony a day or 2 before the wedding. This official ceremony varies depending on religious beliefs, customs, etc. and generally lasts an entire day ++. However, what we heard from others about the Vietnamese wedding reception was true to what we experienced-every detail is the same. Vietnamese cookie cutter reception. Lots of popping balloons as the bride and groom walk into the room, game show type host introduces them and says a short speech, parents are introduced, Father says thank you (which really was all he said), couple pours some bubbly bright red concoction into stacked wine glasses, everyone eats, couple takes pictures with EACH table with red bubbly concoction in hand (then also multiply that times how many outfit changes she has), sit through some Vietnamese karaoke for 15+ minutes, go home. 2 hours and it’s over. Not really even worth getting dressed up for…
The wedding reception that we went to was on a Sunday afternoon (a lunch reception). Generally, the more money you are willing to spend the later the reception will be. So, the low income wedding receptions are at lunchtime on weekdays > week nights > lunch on weekends > dinner on weekends. But the time frame is usually only 2-3 hours regardless of time of day. One of the questions we made sure to ask was, should we arrive at exactly the invite time? Answer, if in the evenings, come 1-2 hours later. If in the afternoons, come on time (generally). Wrong…as we learned. We arrived at 11 am, which is what the invite stated and stared into a completely empty reception room. When Clayton spotted the bride, he said, “Ummm…are we at the right place? I thought the invite said 11?” She immediately covered her mouth and started giggling at our cute-foreignness (that’s what I like to think instead of stupidity). “No,” she said (in between giggles). “Everybody knows to come an hour after the invitation time.” What?? Whatever, we had the pick of the tables, got a head start on the beer, translated the menu via google translator and played a round of scrabble (what was life like BI-before iPhone?) Not only were we the biggest and whitest of anyone else there, we were ridiculously early. Oh well, could have been worse!
We did eat one new thing that we choked down purely out of respect. Sea cucumber, I would rather see you on the bottom of the ocean and not on my plate next time. The gelatinous texture and briny funky aftertaste is a bit too much for my western palate. I’m having some post-traumatic reflux as I think back… But overall, its was cute to see the bride so happy and by the end of the reception, the groom was bright red and about ready to pass out (too many mot, hai, ba, yo’s and downing of beer glasses-one per table will really do in a 110 lb Vietnamese guy). Same same, but different.
